Twenty Eight of June, 2022. Night of the New Moon.
So begins the first entry of this journal, who knows when the next time I will use this will be? I find these things more onerous than I should, creating anamnesis of my personal (un?)life is supposed to be cathartic -- Anyway, I am diverging from the purpose of this. It has been a hectic couple of days, setting a wildfire to the garden of my mind. Will it stop? I'm left wondering. I saw a specialist of mortal medicinals today, it is not something I enjoy doing, but as a Turned vampire who's Original Body spent many years on their domain, the neurological workings require a heightened level of quelling. Quetiapine, she gave me, medicament of the mind. How, I wonder, am I supposed to follow the given direction of dosage? I was told to take it in the morning, again in the after noon hours, then before I let my body fully rest. . . What a pain, I almost wonder if it would be less exaperating to just stick me with a tranquilizer like a misbehaving animal, I wonder if they've ever heard of nepenthe(νηπενθές)? Ah, how convenient it would be if I could be handed such a potion, but I am not Helen of Troy, and such things do not come with such ease.
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Twenty Third of March, 2023. Waxing Crescent Phase.
Ha. Has it seriously been this long since I have graced these parts? I suppose my lackadaisical living has not given me much to speak of, despite the daily despair that wracks my brain. I do dearly wish I could weave endless threads of my adventures, but adventures I lack. Hm. The pharmaceutical plan I spoke of previously did not go quite well, it is simply too much for me to do, for I cannot stand the way it numbs my Body, I barely feel connected to this Body, and they want me to put myself in a trance, yet still be expected to carry out my endeavors? If I am to be chained down to mortal servitude in order to make money in this World, I would like to have complete control of my Mind and Body... Yet, that comes at the price of instability. "Take one every time you feel unstable!" Ah, what farcical directions, so you want me to injest these like a child left alone with candy? With no sign of stopping? Ah, no matter. On brighter sides of this World, my connection with my Beloved has been stronger than ever, our Red String of Fate tied tightly around our fingers, there is no future in sight that does not have us together. It is odd, really, the happiness I feel. Soemtimes, I have to pause, is it really alright? For an accursed being like I to feel this level of elation? Well, I am not one to take a mortal's word often, but if he says it is, I shall put his word higher than the daunting whispers that plague my Mind...